angstoutlet (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} angstoutlet) wrote,@ 2007-03-16 02:08:00 |
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I never post in this thing. That was pointed out to me by one of the two people who ever read it (in the words of a chastizing school teacher, "you know who are...")
It suddenly had occurred to me why I like talking to people who are suicidal. It seemed rather perverse, but I do find it terribly intriguing. I guess because altho I've had times in my life where I've felt very unhappy, I've never felt suicidal... perhaps because when I was a child I spent nights awake in fear that I was going to die. And times when I've felt depressed in recent years, it's been characterised by mortality angst directed at myself and the fear of lost loved ones.
I guess in an awful sense I admire people who can feel suicidal because they have the courage to confront something I have never been able to.
It suddenly had occurred to me why I like talking to people who are suicidal. It seemed rather perverse, but I do find it terribly intriguing. I guess because altho I've had times in my life where I've felt very unhappy, I've never felt suicidal... perhaps because when I was a child I spent nights awake in fear that I was going to die. And times when I've felt depressed in recent years, it's been characterised by mortality angst directed at myself and the fear of lost loved ones.
I guess in an awful sense I admire people who can feel suicidal because they have the courage to confront something I have never been able to.
